A guy calls me and tells me his name is Alan. He wants to watch a porn video with me. The twist is that the star of the video is his girlfriend.
He sends me the link and I start to play it.
I was really excited about this because I’m a big fan of porn, and I thought maybe his girlfriend was someone I knew of.
She isn’t. I’ve never heard of her. She’s one of those adult performers who isn’t famous or even that well known outside of the most die hard fans, but, due to the bottom dwelling nature of the business she is in, she still gets the title of porn “star”.
His girlfriend has one of those names that is so obviously porn made that it almost warrants a face palm when you hear it. The first name is of the generic anybody’s baby-sitter in all white suburbia type. The second name is an adjective meant to imply the nature of the girl, a coy little word that defies the dirty settings I think she routinely finds herself in.
She has long straight brown hair that has some chunky blonde streaks in it that I’m sure her stylist told her will highlight her face better.
She isn’t fat, but, she has a thick waist and is untoned. She looks tanned in a way that comes more from a tanning bed or airbrush machine than the actual sun.
There’s nothing especially interesting or attractive about her face. She looks like the type of girl who would have been really mean to me in middle school. She has a large gap between her front teeth, which is the most exotic thing about her entire look.
She’s just a girl you could see anywhere, and probably pass by, but, instead she’s here, on the internet, lying on an old red couch between two black guys who are going to fuck her.
Her eyes are hooded, but, not in a way that looks naturally sultry. I ask her boyfriend if she’s high. He says yes. She gets high for every shoot she does. She’s never sober when she works. He tells me that all porn performers get high when they work. If they claim otherwise they are lying.
I ask what she was on for this shoot. He says he thinks it’s speed, but it may have been coke. I’m surprised by this, because she seems fairly languorous on film.
Except for the giggling. She does a bunch of that.
The two guys sit on either side of her, and she rubs their cocks through their pants. Her legs are spread,and she wears a pair of hot pink panties and a little pink shirt. She wears a lot of makeup. The three of them engage in dialogue related to fucking. Specifically, the two guys talk about how much they would enjoy fucking her. I have a feeling it might be their lucky day. She giggles and seems incredulous yet flattered that they would like to partake in such activities with her.
The young lady stands up and removes her panties. Turning around, she reveals that she has a jewelled butt plug wedged into her anal orifice. The men are delighted. The plug is removed and inserted into the ladies mouth. She deems the device, and, therefore her own ass, to taste “sweet”. She giggles coyly. The fucking commences.
One of the men has great difficulty getting an erection. The other does not. Her neck stiffens up as he tries to jam his enormous dick down her throat. The hard one fucks her from behind while she buries her head in the soft ones lap and tries to help him get hard.
I’m gonna guess that watching the hard one pound the crap out of her pussy didn’t do anything to help out the soft ones game.
At one point, she actually asks the soft one “what’s wrong?”. You should never ask a soft one "what's wrong?". Nor should you hold them close and tell them it will be okay. Especially when there are cameras around.
“I don’t know!” he replies, sounding like a frustrated, embarrassed guy who is trying to cover up the frustration and embarrassment he feels by injecting a bunch of volume into his voice.
He gets up and goes to the corner of the room and jerks off silently while watching the other two fuck.
It’s difficult to tell whether or not she is into it. I’m gonna guess no. She makes a lot of high pitched porno squeals and yelps and “oh yeahs”. Her eyes roll back into her head, but, I’m guessing that has more to do with drugs and anal sex prep related starvation than her sexual ecstasy.
She doesn’t cum, but he does, down her throat. The soft one also cums, all without the benefit of penetration.
I wouldn’t have masturbated to this video, even if Alan hadn’t sent it my way. He wasn’t masturbating either. We were just watching it together, two strangers, beholding his girlfriends pussy getting stretched open on a long tube of black dick.
It was like we were watching a nature documentary together. Genitals for hire in their natural habitat.
Her boyfriend told me that he was on set with her when she filmed this video. Afterward, he fucked her, along with the director, right on that same couch. Alan claims that all the female talent in porn has to fuck the director, either before the scene films or afterwards. I asked what happens if they don’t want to. Alan says that they don’t get work.
Alan’s girlfriend is 25, and she’s been in porno since she was 18. She has no plans to stop. Alan is nearly 50, and they’ve been together for 3 years.
I ask him how much money she makes. He says she does alright, but she isn’t rich. The two of them live together in a big house in L.A. He pays for a bunch of their stuff.
I ask what he does. He asks me if I know of Guess jeans.
I’m a girl of the 90’s, of course I know about Guess jeans. I used to rip out their lush ads from fashion magazines and plaster my walls with them, in the true covetousness nature of an adolescent girl in less than privileged circumstances.
I still can’t afford a pair of those goddamned jeans. But someday…someday I’m gonna waltz right into one of their stores and wander around for a whole bunch of time, acting like I can buy something. I’m gonna act like a real customer and everything.
Someday.
Anyways, Alan is the man in charge of art directing their infamous catalogues (although they have gone down somewhat in stock since using that rich ho for hire Paris Hilton as one of their models). He works a shit ton and makes a shit ton.
I have a feeling her and Alan won’t last. She’s in the porn game not because she’s especially pretty or sexy or even good at performing, or outrageous or unique…she’s in it because she’s willing to do it. Which is one of the reasons I do phone sex work.
I can never help wondering what the future holds for someone like her. I know not to sell her short, even though it’s easy to. I wonder if she wants things we’d never think she’d be capable of dreaming of. I know I do. I wonder if she’s full of hidden landscapes and shiny horizons, and someday she’ll look back on this strange, crazy life of drugs and fucking on film and luxury jeans, and shake her head and say, “I can’t believe I used to be that girl….”
"One more day like today and I'll kill you
A desire for flesh
And real blood
I'll watch you drown in the shower
Pushing my life through your open eyes..."
-"Pornography", The Cure
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